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As a resident, I can buy a “Ticket Porto.” to visit Livraria Lello with priority access. The amount is deductible when buying books. Sounds straightforward: a ticket, and in a bookstore, the value goes towards books. They even throw in a “Porto first!” for good measure. I finally decide: let’s go show the girls the staircase.

However, there’s a small detail that slips past the unsuspecting buyer: at some point, the “Ticket” becomes a “Ticket-Voucher.” But that’s just because it can also be exchanged for books, obviously. Digging into the “+ info,” we learn that the now simply “Voucher” is “Personal and non-transferable,” which makes sense since I had to prove I’m the holder of the “Porto Card.”. I bought one thing, and now it has three names… In hindsight, I should have been more cautious.

Inside the bookstore, crushed against the shelves (this rule I already knew) of rather battered books, I realize that the vast majority are their own editions of classics and anthologies, translated into various languages, in flimsy paperbacks that seem small compared to the editions I know. The tiny font and tight spacing explain the book’s size. It doesn’t look comfortable, but maybe my eyesight’s just getting worse. I also notice that books start at €16.90, whether it’s Tom Sawyer, a Lello anthology in several languages, or even a blank notebook. It seems odd that a blank book costs as much as a translated one. But of course, what matters are the big numbers, supply and demand, yada yada.

I pick a book with the girls and wait at a checkout. The registers open and close at will, creating migratory phenomena in the queues around the stairs. Surely, they weren’t designed for this: if they were, they wouldn’t be there blocking the way.

When it’s my turn, I finally understand why my “Ticket” has definitively become a “Voucher”: I’m only allowed to redeem one voucher per book. In other words, I have to accompany my daughters because they can’t enter alone under 12, but then each of us has to redeem our own, now blatantly obvious, “€10 Voucher” on a separate book, which means I still have to pay at least €6.90 more for each one, just to take home three books of questionable print quality.

“We’re in the business of selling books,” the shop manager repeats ad nauseam, parroting what he heard in training/brainwashing. Sorry, but you’re not. Just look at the shelves to see that Lello couldn’t care less about books. You’re in the business of squeezing tourists. At best, you work in a paid museum’s gift shop. And there’s nothing wrong with that per se. It’s just a bit less “glamorous,” but we all have bread to buy. Just don’t pretend you’re something else. Especially not with the city council’s support. The huge advantage my “Cartão Porto.” gave me was that each family member paid €10 to enter a bookstore, and then to buy books, I still had to pay at least €6.90 more, a clear benefit for the private entity over the citizen. Please, City of Porto, don’t make any deals with FNAC.

If your business model needs to be explained by a lawyer and hides behind FAQs and fine print, you need to realize there’s something very wrong.